We Can Make It Through Anything, Right?
by Love-LeoxRaph-Rage
Summary: Raph makes a terrible discovery, Leo makes a choice, Don confesses, Mikey cries, and some how the Shredder couldn't pick a worst time to attack! CHAPTER 7 IS HERE!
1. Do my eyes betray me?

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Master Splinter. **

**Rating: Its rated M, but for this chapter I guess rated T. **

**Pairing: LeoxRaph, DonxMikey, and another that you'll find out later. **

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.**

Shell! If Splinta found out about us… well lets jus say it wont be pretty, he already got pissed jus cause on Christmas he found Mikey and Donny under the mistletoe…. Even though Leo and I had already been there… 5 times. Hey we're the stealthy ninjas. But Spilnta got all pissed and said 'Michelangelo! Donatello! You are doing a most vile thing- each of you to your own rooms!' and well… lets just say me an' Leo have been keep's a low profile.

In fact we'd been keeping real low, cause I barely see Leo since then. We'd been going out after the 'Winters incident'. After that fight on the rooftops and saving Leo, we'd finally found out that… er um all that tension building up was… s-sexual tension- anyway! Leo used to look at me with those soft warm brown eyes that held the affection which he gave me and me alone only. The affection of a lover. I must admit at first it was kinda eh but now… now I actually return it with my own kind of affection. Sure me and Leo knew bout Don and Mikey but they didn't know about us.

Shell no one knew bout us, not even April or Casey. We intended to tell the others when we thought the time was right but since Mikey and Donny's example we decided to put it off. Forever. Well Leo did, but I'm getting tired of hiding it! I told Leo so too and he just gave me a speech bout how 'Splinter will put a immediate stop to it' and 'how we will never see each other because he could send one of us away'. Which I will admit did get threw to me, I could wait forever cause Leo's just that important.

I felt bad for Mikey and Don, they'd been kinda sad lately. They always avoid each other and our fathers gaze. Mikeys been smiling but you can tell his smile don't meet his eyes. His blue eyes show that he really misses his and Don's time together. Don's been in his lab most of the time, so much Leo or I need to pry him from it to go on patrol, train, or even to just come and eat! And speak'n of Leo….

Leo's actually been kinda weird. He's barely come by, and we haven't had sex for 3 weeks, 4 days, and- wow. Think I'm getting obsessed… well its just been a long time. He's been REAL tense and barely says 'hi' to me. I'm starting to get worried- but I still aint no sap. Its just I don't know what's wrong with my bro. What was really strange was some of the glares Masta Splinter been givn me. And Leo's been going inside his room more and more… I aint say'n he's telling Masta Splinta anything, but something's wrong. Leo's been more and more quiet.

Even brainiac said something bout _'early stages of depression'_ which just fucking scares the shell outta me! I mean he has been acting strange lately… but, I don't wanna think he's gonna turn all emo on us! So today I decided that after training I'd go to listen in on what Masta Splinta and Leo talk 'bout. When he goes in he looks down and his eyes are empty, drained of all that light that was there before. He walks in and slides the door closed behind him. I wait a few minutes before I go to the wall and start listening without being detected. Which is hard since they're both ninjas too.

But still when Leo walks to Splinta's room no one else is around. Donny's been obsessed in his work as a way of dealing with not being able to see Mikey, and Mikey is busy playing with Klunk in his room. I go to the wall and use all of my senses and close my eyes focusing on what I'm hearing in the room.

I barely hear Splinta when he speaks "Leonardo, are you ready?" I cock my head to the side and blink _'Splinta's voice, its kinda strained… and he sounds outta breath, they couldn't be sparring or anything right?' _I press my head against the wall and hear Leo's labored breathing… I only heard him breathe like that for two reasons. 1) When we're fighting someone tough like tha Shredder. Or 2) When we're having sex. I shake my head and feel my stomach turning. _'I'm acting even more stupid than Mikey! They have to be sparring or something, Masta Splinta is our FATHER.' _Right then I hear Leo hiss as my body tenses.

Uncertainty rises as I decide if they are just sparring or something I would just get yelled at for intruding… but if it isn't… I take a deep breath and slide open the door. I saw the candle flicker and go out like a horror movie. I looked around and saw no one, but then heard a startled gasp and another hiss. I walked in and said shakily which is so unlike me "L-Leo, Masta Splinta?" I didn't know why I was so quiet and why I felt panic. I heard a few groans and I looked over the couch to see why Leo's been act'n different, why Masta Splinta's been glaring at me, and why I felt my heart break with the rise of my rage. I really wish they had been training instead of this.

**Mwahaha! Now I left this poorly made cliff hanger! Mwahaha now you must wait for chapter 2! Until then my lovely's! R&R!**

**~Love-LeoxRaph-Rage~**


	2. Leo's worst nightmare!

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Master Splinter.**

**Rating: Rated M! **

**Pairing: LeoxRaph, DonxMikey, and SplinterxLeo.**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.**

I looked over our Masta's couch and saw Leo on his shell panting. Sweat rolling off his forehead and eyes hazy. On top of him was our Father- no. Not anymore. Not after this. On top of my brother Leonardo was Splinta. He looked at me with wide shocked beady dark brown eyes. He quickly got up as Leo tucked 'im self in I stood their completely frozen. Our _Father _the man who _raised_ us! Was **FUCK'N **Leo! After Leo saw me his eyes went wide with shock and horror and he got into a sitting position.

I just shook my head as Splinta put his coat on and said "R-Raphael listen to me my son your brother and I we were-" "Shut up. Just shut the **fuck **up! I don't even wanna hear your shit! All I wanna hear is why the shell Leo-" I glared at him as he struggled to get up "Let this HAPPEN?" Splinta reached out for me and I just hissed "Don't you fuck'n touch me you perverted pedophile! I'm so gonna fuck'n kill you!" Before I could tackle him Leo put his hands on my shoulders his breathing still ragged. I growled and said threw my clenched teeth "Get your filthy hands off me- cheater!" His eyes look at me with sadness, desperation, and regret.

He says in a broken voice "Raph… Please…. I-" "I don't need to hear it Leo! Fuck you know what? I thought I could trust you Leo- I neva doubted ya Leo!- Neva… and you do _this _to me? What the shell let him fuck you without a fight?" He looked down as Splinta shook his head. "Raphael. Do not blame Leonardo I…" He trailed off and I bit down on my tounge trying to control the rage building inside of me "You _what?" _I hissed and Leo tensed. Splinta growled and sighed "Raphael I will tell you later, in the meantime control your temper-" "Fuck that! Tell me what you said to make Leo roll on his shell and take it!" Leo glared at Splinta and told him straightly "Look. I told you if this ever got out **YOU **would leave- and you agreed. So leave. NOW. We'll tell the others that you've decided to trust us and leave us to live on our own. Just go."

Leo's eyes turned hard as stone and narrowed. Splinta hesitantly walked over to his desk and said quietly "I am sorry my sons… I have dishonored our family… I never meant to hurt you…" Then he takes his bag and walks out without another word. When he leaves the lair Leo falls to his knees. "Uhn…" I catch and say quietly and sadly "Leo… what did that bastard say?" Leo straightens and pulls away "If you love me, you will satisfy me. If not, then I can always find someone else…" He glances those warm eyes and I snarl "He said _that? _Leo why didn't ya tell me! How long has he been doing this to ya?" Leo looks down and says in a low voice

"Before I left. Way before. A little after we defeated the Shredder… then he sent me away, he didn't start up again until we defeated Winters…" His voice cracks at the end and that jus breaks my heart all the more. "Damn Leo… you shoulda told me… I would've made sure to make him stop…" He shakes his head "No, Raph I'm the leader and the eldest- its my problem I can handle it myself-" "Oh like you were a few minutes before? With his cock up your ass?" I yell and go wide eye'd realizing I'd just done one of the _stupidest _things ever! Leo looked at me and glared "Thanks. Thanks Raph I really needed to fucking hear that from _you_!" He got up abruptly and I mentally slapped myself. I tried to take his hand but he slipped it free

"Leo wait I didn't-" "Look. I'm going to get some sleep because I havn't gotten a nights rest in over a MONTH. So go and do whatever just leave me the shell alone!" He yelled to my face and disappeared. I shook my head and face palmed my self "Stupid, stupid, _**stupid!**_" I growled and sighed closing my eyes and walking out of the room shutting it closed. As I walked out Donny and Mikey peeped in. Shell, guess its all up to me to tell 'em.

"Hey Raph you OK? Whats up, you seem kinda… uh weird." I glance at Mikey and sigh "Look guys, Masta Splinta he…" I started to say when Leo appeared in front of me. "He's gone on a spiritual journey. He wont be back for a long time, he said this is also a test for us to see if we can survive without him. So be prepared tomorrow we have to do everything on our own without our Father." Leo's voice faltered at 'Father' and I sighed shaking my head. Mikey was grinning and nodded "Sweeeet! Dude you know what this means? We can have awesome parties night after night!" While Mikey was act'n his usual goofy self Don looked at us from top to down.

His calculated eyes watched our expressions closely and he just stared at Leo. Leo had his Fearless Leader face on and that seemed to raise Donny's questions but that all stopped when Mikey tackled him "And you know what this means Donny?" Donny's face turned bright red and I chuckled "W-What?" Mikey nuzzled his beak with Don's and smirked "We can have some '_fun_'." Don just blushed harder and Fearless walked to his room and I followed. Don and Mike were so busy with each other they didn't notice when we left.

When bro slipped in his room I slide in too, which got me a growl "Raph…" He warned but I just smirked "Yeah _Fearless_?" Which got me a worse yet better reaction cause he spun around and pushed me against the wall "Raph, what do you want from me?" I sighed and looked up. OK I can do this, this is what brothers do. "I… I-I want cha to tell me everything. Let me know what yer going threw, let me help bro. I wanna help ya, but I can't if you don't let me in." When I looked up Leo's eyes where bright brown with countless emotions running threw em.

His arms fell and he just stood there. For a few minutes I thought he was having a heart attack or somth'n when he stepped closer and pressed his beak to mine. I kissed back softly and slowly not want'n to ruin the moment. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto the bed next to 'em. We laid there looking at each other as if for the first time when he said in a flat tone "If you want me to tell you, you have to promise not to get mad." I snorted "Really Leo? How can I _not _get mad? You know me, shell Donny and Mike would get pissed too!" Leo looks down sheepishly and nods "Guess your right… well…. Here's how it started…" He stared at the wall which is because he didn't want to look me in the eyes cause he didn't wanna see what I felt.

"When after we came back from defeating the Shredder- the time before I went to Central America Master Splinter… he called me to his room, and said…"

***FLASHBACK:* **

"_Leonardo, you have rid the world of the Shredder for good. I am proud of you, yet sad that it came down to our last resort of killing the Shredder. But I must say you have become a great and devoted leader and brother. Not to mention a very…. Attractive student… Leonardo, you have a appearance that would swoon any woman if they just saw the true you." I blink. "Uh thank you Father. That's very kind of you" Master Splinter comes around and sits across from me. He places a furry hand on my thigh. _

"…_..Master Splinter?" I say trying to stay in control and not jump to conclusions. "Yes Leonardo?" His hand trails higher up my thigh causing me to gasp and take his hand "Master Splinter! What are you-" He cut me off with his furry mouth and said in a husky voice "Leonardo if you care about me, if you love me then you will fulfill my needs, my desires." I shivered as his hand went higher and closer under my plastron and started teasing my cock. "Ahh ah M-Master Splinter p-please…" I take his wrist and he bites my neck softly careful not leave any marks. _

"_Leonardo… if you don't do this simple task then I can find another…." My eyes go wider and I look at him. Who is this rat and what has he done to my father? I say my eyes narrowed "And what makes you think I would let you get even close to them?" He smirked and looked at me with lustful eyes. "Remember, I am the Master, you are the student. Do you really wish to take a chance for who would win Leonardo?" I start to shake and hang my head. He would win if he really tried. I'll take a dive for my team, for my brothers. My hand drops from his wrist as he pushes me on my shell._

_He takes his robe off and looked at me with hungry eyes. I looked away as he stripped me of my weapons and tore off my mask. He kissed and licked down my neck with his rat tongue, my heart sped up and my breathing quickened. He licked down my plastron and nipped my thigh causing me to gasp "Ah!-" he covers my mouth with his claw hands. "Shhh… Leonardo calm down, let your self enjoy this sensation…" I just closed my eyes as he licked my entrance causing my member to slide out. He pushed his tongue inside of me making it harder not to moan. My stomach started to churn as I clutched the ground desperately trying not to make any sounds. _

_When he slide his skilled tongue out I protested a whine but that fire in my stomach was building with some feeling of nausea. He put both his hands on my thighs and started licking my beak and forced it open allowing his tongue to enter. I kept my eyes closed tighter. "Mhh…" I stayed silent as he pushed the tip of his dick inside of me, I hissed at the intrusion. He didn't hesitate to push it in further- rougher. He pulled out with some of the pain, but shoved back in quickly causing me to yelp "Ah ahh M-Master Splinter p-please w-! Ah!" He didn't listen as he pulled out and slammed back in at full force grunting. _

"_Ah Leonardo…" He moaned quietly making me want to vomit. I just kept my eyes closed as he kept slamming in and out. I kept quiet and so did he except for the occasional moaning my name. After a while he finally came filling me with his seed. I whimpered as he drew out panting. He put his robe on and I laid there for a few minutes trying to hold in the tears that held all the pain. "Leonardo… please forgive me, but you should leave. We don't want your brothers expecting anything. I nodded slowly registering that and got up. _

_I limply walked to my room and closed the door silently locking it. I lie on my bed huddled with a pillow silent tears falling down my face. I had no dreams that night. _

***END OF FLASHBACK:* **

I stared at Leo whose eyes held so much damn pain I wanted to make it all go away. I knew I can't but I am going to try. I pulled him into a hug which I really don't do much cept after make-up sex. I held him tightly and wrapped his arms around my shell. We laid there and after a few moments I said in a monotone. "Leo, from now on you tell me anything- I don't care what it is just tell me. I know I shouldn't talk but remember it aint good to keep things bottled up.

He nodded and buried his face in the crook of my neck silently sobbing. "T-Thank you Raph, thank you… I love you, and I-I'm sorry. I-I-I'll do anything to make it up I s-" I kisses him lightly and pulled away so he could see me clearly through all his tears. "Leo, you don't need to do nothing 'cept _breath_ and be **happy. **Got it Fearless?" He searched my eyes but I showed him that I meant it, cause when Raphael Hamato says something he means it. I kissed him again and said gentaly as I could manage "Now come on, lets get some sleep." He nodded and closed his eyes. I did to after smiling "Good night Raphie, sweet dreams." I smirked and said "Night Leo, love ya." I could pratically feel his blush and kept smirking.

Then I fell into sleep-land to wake up in the morning hearing the door creak open. Followed by a giggling sound which could only mean one of two things. 1) He saw me an Leo hugging each other, or 2) He was starting to put two and two together. I hope this time I have better luck and its 1. Course Lady Luck neva did like me.

**Yay! I think this cliffhangers not as good as the last- but hopefully you enjoyed it! Cause I know how you all love cliffhangers! ;D well til next time my pets! R&R!**

**~Love-LeoxRaph-Rage~**


	3. Lady Luck Hates Us

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, or Master Splinter.**

**Rating: Rated M! **

**Pairing: LeoxRaph, DonxMikey, and SplinterxLeo.**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.**

Well. Looks like Lady Luck still has some sort of grudge against me. Cause when I rolled onto my shell I took one look and saw me an Leo had some _splaining_ to do. Uhg great I'm acting like that damn knucklehead now… any way I groaned and sighed "Mikey…" I warned but he covered his big mouth before laughing. I glared at him but froze when I felt Leo shift and sit up. His eyes still glazed turned narrowed and focused when seeing Mike in the door way laughing. Don peeked his head in say'n "Mike whats so funny-" he saw my arm still drapped over Leo's shoulder and both of us in bed and shook his head trying to come up with some sort of reasonable explanation sides the conclusion his to big bros' might've been going at it last night… pfft I wish.

My eyes go wide- _wait last night… _ everything replayed in my head and I growled. Mike stopped laughing and Don tore his calculating gaze from Leo to me. I could feel everyones eyes on me, and when Mike asked what was wrong I snarled one word from my mouth. "_**Splinta**_" they all gave me looks 'cept for Leo who was getting up and looking anywere but me and the others. "Huh? What about Master Splinter Raph?" Don asked questioningly and Mikey moved closer but Leo got between me an 'em. "Don, Mike, were going to start practice the same time as usual so get ready and wait in the dojo, Raphael and I will be there shortly." Leo said it all detached and that just fueled my anger all tha more!

Before I could move a muscle Leo put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down on my shell straddl'n me. "Raph… don't talk about Master Splinter- what he did infront of or to Mike and Don. They don't need to know, and if such a time arises where they have to know, I'll tell them. OK?" A fire rose inside of me, and not the fighting hating kind. The kind I havn't felt in **WEEKS!** I smirked and answered in a low voice "Course Fearless, if you wanna wait to tell em fine, but if you me to stand by with ya…. Well you know this turtle got your back." He blushed slightly and a grin graced his lips. "Good…" he leaned down and brushed his beak against mine, but it ended way to quick for my liking. He got off me and put his katana gear on an glanced at me "Come on Raph, you didn't think I'd be late for practice just to give you a quickie did you?" He said with a fuck'n amused expression.

_Fuck'n Leo… _I glared at him and mumbled "Cock tease…" as I walked past him, an heard em chuckling "Looks like you're a little disappointed Raphie?" "Well I havn't had sex in 2 weeks, and you just made me fucking horny- what do you think?" He ponders that and looks at me "That you really need me, and that you have to deal with it and be paitient." I glower at him but he keeps walking and I finger my sai "What if I don't wanna wait, huh _Fearless_?" he stops and looks over his shoulder saying in a husky voice "Then expect to be chained and left in your room until the days done dealing with your own boner. Now hurry up hot-head." I groan and sigh following.

When we get in Mike and Don are in a corner nuzzling each other but jump when we enter. Pulling away immediately and try'n to look casual. I glance at Leo who ignores my look walking to the center of the dojo. "OK, Mike, Don, Raph today we're going to be just sparring. Don, your with Raph, Mike you and me." I sigh inwardly _Shell… I was hoping to at least spar with him, ya know get a lil fun… he knows Mikey and Don wanna do the same with each other and that I wanna have some fun but noooo he just has to play leader and get us to focus. Damn Leo needs to lighten up… _

"All right Donny, lets go." Don gulps and nods his eyes not showing any fear as he grabs his bo staff taking one last longing look towards Mike. Mike winks at 'em and struts toward Fearless "Alright dude, let the battle nexus champion show you how its done!" _God! He's still bringing that up! Damn nexuses champion bull shit… _Leo stood still and put his Leader face to match his voice "Get read Mike." I had to take one more look at Leo. His voice… _I'd never heard Leo use that voice, it sounds royally pissed! Kinda like mine… Shell hope Mike's gonna be ok. _"Hey Raph! Over here, turtle in purple!" I look and see Donny swinging his arm "Did you forget who your oppent is bro? Come on I'm ready!" I smirked and twirled out my sai. "Sure ya are brainiac sure ya are, now hold still this'll only hurt- a lot."

The look on Donny's face made me smile, his face held eagerness, fear, humor, and somth'n he needed more of- confidence. I charged with my sai's and so did Don with his bo. I interlocked his bo with one of my sai and thrusted the other towards his gut which he stopped by putting both hands on the bo and used some kind of extra force I didn't know he had to push me back wards stumbl'n. I blinked amazed my lil bro was so strong. "Heh, too much for you Raph?" I grinned and ran back as he braced his self. Right when I was about to throw another punch I heard Donny's shell cell go off. I stopped barely in time as he sent me a embarrassed and apologetic look. I really wasn't that mad more annoyed but I was worried for 'em cause Leo heard it too.

In fact, Leo strode over here as soon as he answered "Uh hello?" He said as Leo started tapping his foot and crossed his arms over his chest. Mike came from behind me and whispered "Ooooo man Donny's in trouble! Huh I wonder who called, any ideas Raphie?" I shrugged "Dunno. Probably April or somth'n… aint like we- or Don for a fact have a lot of topside friends that got our shell cell signals." Mike nodded "Yeah true." After a few minutes of Don's nodding and sighing he mumbled "Got it, we'll what we can do…" he hung up and Mike asked "Who was it Don? Master Splinter? A customer?" Don shook his head and said in a dull voice.

"Karai. Her foot left a message for us at Aprils'. I told her we'd go by but…" "It's the middle of the day, basically impossible for us to go and just check up on her and Casey." Leo said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Well shell I don't know if I can wait til it gets dark to go see Leo!-" I noticed I was already getting angry, huh maybe cause I havn't been able to relieve my sexual tension or somth'n… yeah probably. "Uh hey guys…" Don said and all eyes turned toward him. "I uh asked April to bring it over with Casey. We don't need to leave the lair." We all blinked and Mike chuckled "Hahaha, you two aren't as smart as me and Donny!" He moved next to Don and slung a arm over his shoulder "Right _babe_?" he smirked and Donny blushed.

"M-Mike!" Don said as Leo sighed "Michaelangelo, nows not the time to _flirt_ got it?" Mike shot me a look. _He better not be thinking what I think he's thinking… oh shell. Mike no don't! _Mike smirked wider and looked at Leo with a devious glint in his eyes. "Oh but that's not fair Leo! You and Raph can sleep with each other but I can't just!-" "Leo!" "Yo Leo!" Before anyone could blink Leo had Mike up against a wall with a katana to his throat. "Not. A. Word." He growled threw his teeth. I couldn't even understand what the shell was going on with 'em! Leo our Leader was acting more pissed off than I do! I stalked toward him as Don tried to calm Leo down I pushed his away from Mikey getting his full attention. "Leo what the shell is wrong with ya?"

His eyes narrow more and he points his katana at me. "Wrong with me? No. I'm tired of you three not actually paying attention- giving me the respect of a leader! Will you all just try and work hard? I'm tired of being the only responsible one-" "Leo your fuckn not making sense!" He puts his arms at his sides and growls "Yes I AM!" "Leo, we do! We work, we respect you!" Don tries and when Leo glances at him I tackle him to the ground making him lose his grip on one katana "Leo calm the shell down! Your just pissed at Splinta, I get it! Just-…." I went dead silent at the look he was giving me. He pressed his katana to my neck almost causing it to bleed "Raphael… that's enough!" he presses harder when I jump back Mike and Don pin Leo's arms down. "Leo!" "**LEO!" **Dons voice was the most angriest.

Leo's eyes were crazy with emotions there but I could see em all no matter how quickly they were coming or going. The biggest one was pain. "Then they all went away and I saw he could tell what he was doing. "…R-Raph…." His eyes widened and Don and Mike lossened there grip I kept a hand on my slightly cut throat. Leo jumped up squirmed free and ran out of the dojo. We stared where he went as Don got up he said to Mike "Mikey, go and get something like a bandage to put on Raphs neck. I'm… I'm going to check on Leo." Then he ran out as Mike looked down and mumbled "Sorry Raph…" and went to get me a bandaid. I sighed and shook my head _Damn Leo, whats going threw that head of yers right now? _Just then the shell cell rang again, guess Donny dropped it when he after Leo…

I picked it up and answered "Hello?" I said gruffily. The other line was fuzzy but I could make it out "R… Raph?" "April? You ok, you going threw a tunnel or somthn? I can barely hear ya!" More friction and I groaned "April!" A few seconds later "Raph, the s…. ack….. here….. now…" then the line went dead. _What did she say? Raph the s_ ack? Here now? Something like, the sh_ ack, get here now? Man I gotta find Donny… _I sigh and get up feeling panic. Wait why? "Hey Mike-" I look out of the dojo and see a orange headband on the counter. Mike. "**MIKEY!" **I shout so loud the my voice echos threw the lair. Don comes down stairs and looks around "Raph? Whats wrong?" I turn around with the orange bandana in one hand and the shell cell in the other.

"D-Don…" Leo comes down and stays on the last stair as Donny comes closer eyes widening "Where Mike?" he asks in a shaky voice. I say in a low tone "The Shredders back… April… needs us…" I look and see the lair door wide open. How did we not hear or notice that? How could he take Mike? "MIKE!" Don shouts not wanting to believe. Leo stands there. Frozen. I look down at my hands. Looks like Lady Lucks hates my whole family.

**Oh noez! Where is our dear Mike? Is April and Casey ok? Will our dear Leo come back to us? You have to wait and find out in the next chapter my lovelys! :D**

**~Love-LeoxRaph-Rage~**


	4. God Let Me Keep Him!

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo, or **

**Master Splinter.**

**Rating: Rated M! (Mainly for language in this chapter)**

**Pairing: LeoxRaph and DonxMike**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.**

Its been a few hours since Mike was abducted. Right in front of us too! At first we decided not to jump to conclusions. Donny took the battle shell and went all around the deserted parts of town, Leo took the roofs and abandoned ware houses in disguise. I took the sewers. Leo and I came back 4 hours later, Don came back 6 hours later. April and Casey came back and gave us the news bout the Shredder. Apparently Karai's foot ninja shot a arrow at their house with a note that said:

'_Turtles,_

_I am warning you now, so you know what to_

_Expect, my master and Father, the Shredder has _

_Returned. And he will come for you, be ready, _

_And don't separate. He will come for you when you_

_Are alone. I will see you at your graves.'_

-Karai

A growl came up from my throat, but Donny still had searched the whole lair, and tried to trace the Shell Cell but someth'n was blocking it. Leo was sulking and started meditating. April tried to calm Donny down, but he went to work relentlessly. I decided not to sit around waiting for something to happen to my baby brother. When I was about to leave the lair I heard Leo say

"Raph, where do you think your going?" I look over him from my shoulder and say "To find Mike, I aint gonna sit around on my shell- waiting for the Shredder to do something to him!" I take a few deep breaths as he seems only a bit fazed. He takes a few steps near me and says calmly "So your going to go look for him, even though its only 4:00 pm?" I nod "Yup."

He stares at me and says "I'm going too." He grabs both our coats and hats while I study him. "What? Hey Leo- I know your depressed and all but shell aren't you supposed to try and get me **NOT **to go?" He puts his coat on ignoring me but says "Raph…. This is my fault, and you three are my responsibility. I need to go too. Alright?" I blink and shrug "Fine, but I'm driving the Shellcycle you can get on back." He doesn't say a word but follows me out tha lair and into the garage.

I click the button the keys and my red beauty beeps. I get on it and rev its engine putting on my helmet and throwing Leo the spare black one. He puts it on but can't really do it right. I aint surprised, he never rode a tricycle, let alone a motorbike. So I sighed and got up.

"Hey Fearless, let me." He tried to stop me and said defensively "I got it Raph, just back off!" I look at him and snort "Now who's the hot head?" He glowers at me and I roll my eyes again fixing it for him. He stays quiet and after its done I get back on and so does he. I grin and press the button to open the garage door saying "Better hold on tight _Fearless_!" he says while slowly wrapping his arms around me "Shut up Ra- APH!" Before he could finish I raced down the street screeching.

I smirk as he holds on tighter. I drive around all the places Mike would go, and then went to the dump where our old homeless friends used to live. We drove all around and couldn't find a trace of 'em. We even drove to the Shredders old building- nothing! When we were just driving around pointlessly Leo said "Raph, what about the building we first met the Otruams in?" I mentally slap my self, why didn't I think of that? I nod and say "Alright, but they better have some answers if they're even there anymore!" I speed off again making Leo make a kinda squeak sound and hold me tighter.

I smirk and look back at him, he blushes and glares "Eyes on the road Raphael." I nod and sigh "Ya, ya…" We get there in no time. Leo hops off first since I gotta turn this off but he holds a hand in front of my face "Raph stay here, I'll be RIGHT back, Ok?" I tilt my head and scoff "What? Why the shell do I have to stay here?" Ok dumb thing to say cause now I'm going to get a lecture.

Annnnd here we go "Because, if something happens in there I want you to be safe, Donny would be a reck if he lost Mike and _**both **_of us." I stare at him with a blank expression. I start say'n "Leo what cha talking bout-" "Raph just… just please stay. Please." I could tell this really meant a lot to him, and for some reason I felt I should let him, so I nodded "Eh fine, but hurry up Fearless." He nods and jumps in while I hide in the alley closest by. After a few minutes it starts to rain and get dark. I look at my shell cell and see its only 7:40 pm.

_Eh guess it is kinda late… maybe I should call Leo-_ before I finish the thought he jumps right in front of me with a disappointed expression. I sigh and nod "Right…" I get on my bike and Leo is too before he stops. He freezes and gasps "Of course!" Leo jumps on and says "Raph! Get to the lair NOW!" I look at him and start the engine. "Wha? Why?" "Because we forgot about the chip!" I blink and turn more to face him. "Chip?" He nudges my back to let me know to start driving. I turn back around as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"Yeah, remember a few days ago he and Don were hanging out, and he accidently ate that advance tracking chip Don was working on? Don got really mad and almost killed Mike?" I blink and chuckle "Heh, yeah Donny was REAL pissed, but shell Leo, your right! Yer just full of good ideas today aint cha?" He slightly stiffens and mumbles "Yeah, yeah."

I speed up for and we get to the garage in record time. But its already pouring down with no lighting so far but you can tell it's a storm "Damn, hey Leo open the door for me will ya?" Leo nods and gets off lifting the garage door up high enough for me to park. I get off and turn around taking off my helmet and shake my head, "Damn Fearless it's a mess out there! Good thing we got back though, I think it might just get harder. Now come on, lets go, Donny's gonna wanna hear bout what you said about his tracker!" I start walking after putting my helmet down.

After I hear no foot steps behind me I turn and see Leo outside, staring up at the rain. I look at him and say "Leo? Yo, Leo whats up?" I walk closer and he stays still. I say again "Hey bro, come on get the rain, ya gonna get sick." I put a hand on his shoulder and he immidetatly falls to his knees. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he falls on the ground shaking. "_**LEO!**_" I shout so loud all of NY might've heard us.

I grab him and take out the Shell Cell, I press speed dail and put it on speeker setting it down quickly grabbing Leo's fly limbs. "Leo! Come on bro calm down!" I notice a dart in his neck line. I pull it out and throw it next to my phone trying to stop the seizure any way I can. Finally the ringing stops and Don answers "Donny! Hurry up and get up to the garage! Leos fucking having a seizure!" "What? Raph come on are you joking-" I snarl and snap "DOES THIS SOUND LIKE SOMETHING I'D JOKE ABOUT! GET YER SORRY SHELL UP HERE AND SAVE LEO!" Leo stops moving… and stops breathing. My body shuts down as I breath out _"Oh no…" _

I hear Donny's voice saying "What? Raph what happened?" I start trying to push down on his plastron and open his mouth breahing air into him. "I'm coming right now Raph, just make sure he doesn't stop breathing!" With that the phone hung up. I keep doing CPR the best I can until Don can get here. _Leo, God __**Leeeeoooo! **__Come on, you can't die! Mike's missing, Splintas gone, your our Leader! Your our Fearless Leader! _My thoughts run wild and I start feeling not just rain fall down but warm drops of water from my eyes fall.

My vision slightly blurs as I keep trying to bring my older brother back, I keep pushing and breathing but he don't respond. "Donny! Hurry!" More tears flow as I try harder and harder, faster and faster. **"Fucking bitch! Shredder I'ma kill yer ass! I'll cute yer eyes out and pull out yer throat, I'll stab my sai's through your head!" **I start sobbing but don't stop the CPR. Finally when Don gets here I don't even notice him, April and Casey pry me away from Leos dead body. My Fearless Leader, my boyfriend, my brother, my Leonardo. His face in twisted with pain and relief. I stare at him as Don tries to bring him back, oh God have mercy. God let me keep my Leo.

**Sorry for the late update, I've been lazy and in rut, hope you enjoyed this! Now… Omg! Is Leo dead? Will we ever find Mike? What will happen to our Mutant Heros? Find out in the next chapter! ****Gooooood bye Fanfiction readers! Please R&R!**

**~Love-LeoxRaph-Rage~**


	5. Raphs Rage

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo,**

**Master Splinter, Casey, or April.**

**Rating: Rated M! **

**Pairing: LeoxRaph and DonxMike**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't read! In Raphs POV.**

I still can't stop shaking from seeing… that. Leo shaking, his eyes rolling to the back of his head- him not breathing. My eyes sting but I aint got no more tears to spill, and my heart still aching. Casey tried to follow me when I couldn't stand watching Don pointlessly trying to save Leo. But I think April told him I needed to grieve, which was true.

I stormed into the lair and fell to my knees at the center. I clutch my head and scream.

"LEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I pound my fists into the ground so hard they bruise and almost bleed. Tears run freely down my face, I start panting and clench my fist so tightly they almost turn white. I keep my eyes shut, not wanting to see this world, this place.

It just ain't fair, Leo didn't do a damn thing! Why did all this happen to him, to us? I mean our family and Leo has been through way to damn much! Leo's taken to many damn bullets for us! And that aint even a 'simile' or whatever the fuck it is! Soon my sobs turn into choked breathing and stray tears.

Soon I hear someone come in and feel a hand on my shell. "Hey, hey Raphie…" it's Casey. I shake my head not wanting to hear what I already know. "Hey naw man it aint like that, Leo- he isn't dead I mean! Don saved him! Leo's just unconscious! Come on, let's go Raph." Those words keep me to my knees stunned.

I slowly re open my eyes and look at him, and no doubt my eyes are blood shot. I shakily get up and walk back with Casey who keeps a awkward hand on my shell. When I get a glimpse of Donny over a large table I walk faster to see Leo laying peacefully on the table.

I study everything about him and smile. He looks like he's dreaming, a whole lot better than before. I sigh in relief and feel Dons eyes on me.

"Raph… I need to tell you one thing about Leo's state." I turn my head to face his and stare at him with my eyes saying 'what-now?' but he ignores it. Instead he goes on with a nervous glint in his eyes and waves his hand around, the other on his belt.

"Well I tested the dart next to your shell cell and well…. I was able to cancel out most of the poison-" "Don, what the shell do you mean by 'most'!" I snap but know he's doing his best but damn, what's wrong this time with Leo? He looks at me, deciding if he should tell me or not but knows damn well I'd kill 'im if he didn't.

"Raph… there's a strong chance Leo might not ever walk again." I stare at him, thinking about how this is so much like one of those Spanish soap operas Masta Splinta-… my heart drops at that. I look down and feel like crap, my Masta was a perv and took advantage of Leo without me knowing, Mike's missing, and now Leo's might never fucking be able to use his legs again!

I shake my head and say in a raspy voice "You sure?" He looks down too, like he's checking with the floor if he's right. Then he answers quietly "Yeah, well 98.4% that is…" I close my eyes and open them again looking at Leo. I feel my heart breaking, and my eyes watering. I wipe 'em and take a deep shaky breath

"W-Whens he gonna wake up Don?" I know I really don't wanna hear what he has to say but I ask anyway. Don pauses for a few seconds then looks at me and says in a calm voice

"I don't know Raph, he might never wake up…" I snap my head back to him and say in a surprised tone

"What?" I see Casey stand from the table he was leaning on and yell

"Yeah Donny I thought you said Leo was fine!" Apes shushes him and Don rubs the back of his neck while saying

"Well, besides the paralyses and coma… he would be just fine, so if he can pull through, and somehow manage to walk again, he will be just fine. That poison the foot made has gotten more advance- I mean I try to keep up with the latest poisons but its so hard, so many, so different, and you can't really just look it up on wiki-" April cuts him off and says patting his shoulder

"Donny, calm down, you need sleep. You've been working your self ragged… just take one nap." Don smiles and removes her hand delicately as I turn my attention back to our Fearless Leader… I hear April and Don talk in the background, but I don't really pay attention to 'em.

I just pay attention to Leo's soft breathing and the rise an fall of his chest. I look closer at every detail of 'im, every detail that makes Leo, Leo. I look at his soft leaf green skin, really lighter than Dons or Mike's. Well kind of, Don's is a different shade all together while Mike is pretty dark, almost like me.

I look at the fainted scars and scratches on his plastron and his every muscle…. I look at how his blue mask frames his eyes. I think back to how his eyes were that dark oak color when in battle, but damn if his eyes aint beautiful when he's happy.

He has the softest honey warm eyes anyone ever seen. I smile and place my hand on his cheek and start stroking it with my thumb gently. I look down fondly at my big bro, and chuckle at how peaceful he looks, how he finally looks his damn age! Like a teenager!

After a few minutes I notice everyone watching me. I look at the curious and slightly surprised looks on everyone's faces. I removed my hand thinking 'bout how Leo didn't want no one to know 'bout us.

I pull up a chair and sit right next to Leo's side taking his hand in mine, not really caring anymore. If Leo wanted to yell at me, he'd have to wake up first, and if he woke up he'd have to deal with me for letting 'im get like this in the first place.

I rub my thumb along his hand and look down trying not to think bout all the crap we've been through, but all the happiness that MUST be waiting for us! I mean, even teenage mutant ninja turtles deserve happiness right…? Right? I look down at Leo and whisper

"Hey bro, you can make it through this, we've done it before. Come on, come back to us… come back…to…." I look around making sure no ones was around to hear. I lean a little closer and say in a even quieter tone

"to me, come back to me bro, I need you… we all do, Mike's still missing 'member? Our little brother- that shell for brains is in the Shredders mercy! And Leo, we both know that the Shredder aint got much patience for Mike… and Mike must be scared out of his mind, so come on, we need ya…"

I lean even closer looking down at that peaceful, beautiful, an delicate face. I press my beak to his an kiss 'em for a few seconds before pulling back slightly.

I try to find any trace that he heard me- an the closest thing to that was his breath hitching. 'Great, just great Raphael, you can't even get 'im to make a fucking sound! Come on, what else is there?' I look around and sigh. It'd be better if I'd been the one to get shot, Leo is more important…

Leo would know what 'ta do. I shake my head trying to shake away the prickling sensation behind my eyes, I can't cry. Not here, not now. I hold Leo's hand tighter wishing for him to just wake up! Then I heard the door open and then a few loud foot steps came. They stopped behind me, an then Case cleared his throat trying to act serious

"Uh, hey Raph…" He says it like he can't decide what 'ta say and takes a seat next to me. He looks down at Leo too and I don't take my eyes of 'im. I say in a quiet voice

"Hey Casey…" it sounds too weak, too weak for me Raphael Hamato. But right now I can't say I really care all too much. Casey puts a comforting hand on my shoulder and squeezes it

"Yo, Raph, bud come on. You need 'ta snap outta dis! Ya know that Leo would want ya 'ta go and look for Mike, so how bout it?" I suddenly stiffened and gasped

"That's right! Aw shell I forgot!" I stood up so quickly that my chair hit the ground; it also got a small flinch from Leo. I looked at Casey with bright eyes "Case come on! We got 'ta go and tell Donny someth'n!" He blinks a lil confused but grins standing.

"You got it Raph! Lets go, him an Ape are in tha lab!" He gets up and starts running out, happy for some weird reason. I nod and run past the door way before stopping.

"Wait… Uh Case? You mind if you can get them here?" He turns around partly and says with a confused expression but shrugs and says "Uh sure thing Raph, but uh why can't cha come and tell 'em your self?"

I take a quick glance at Leo then back at him. I open my mouth but can't find them right words.

He see's me not really in my comfortable zone and shrugs. He mumbles 'never mind' 'fore he goes off and goes to find April and Don. I turn and pick my chair up sitting back down, taking hold of my older brothers hand again.

I stare down at 'im wishing he could just help me here, let me know he's goanna be alright. But 'course that'd mean there was someone out there look'n out for us.

I shook my head and looked down, disappointed. 'Why does it feel like the centa of tha world hates us? What the shell did we do?' I don't realize that I've been squeezing my eyes AND my hand and hear Leo hiss. "Leo!" I loosen my grip and get up wiping his forehead "Yo, bro you ok?" I look down at 'em with worried eyes.

He slowly opens his eyes, he blinks a few times before finally opening 'em fully. I smile and feel my heart weld up, and saw his usually dark menacing stare was now soft, and a dark brown hazy kind of look in his eyes.

I stare into them deeply 'til he pulls me out of my day dreams. "Raph..." I smile still slightly, or at least kind of smile/smirk. I lean closer since it's kind of hard to hear 'im.

"Yeah Leo? What's up? You need something?" He shakes his head slightly and tries to sit up, and softly I push him back down.

"Wow there bro, you can't just start getting up! That poison thing was really fatal. Just-Just take it easy..." I watch as his soft expression starts looking slightly annoyed.

I sigh and think to my self 'Is this how it is when he deals with me when I'm drunk?' I don't get to think of an answer 'cause my fearless leader speaks up again in a raspy voice

"Raph... did you let them know about the chip? How long have I been out?" He looks at me desperately and I shush him.

"Leo, its been only a few hours... and I just told Casey to get Don and April. We'll tell 'em together if ya want. If not I can do it my self. But don't worry 'bout that, just get to working on feeling better. Let us handle this-"

"Raphael, how can I do that with my baby brother in deep trouble because of ME?" He slightly raises his voice only to wince. I flinch mentally at how harsh but true his words are.

I don't wanna feel like I'm choosing between my 'lil bro and my big bro. Cause wouldn't that make me as heartless as the Shredder? I sigh and mumble under my breath that he has to take it easy.

"Look, me, Don, April, and Casey got that under control. We'll make sure to get Mikey back, he's my brother too remember?" Leo hesitantly nods and looks away with... shame? Can't tell and again I don't get much chance too since Don and the others come bursting in.

"Is he awake?" Don says breathlessly like he just ran a marathon. I nod and move aside since he runs to him. Don grabs Leo's wrist delicately like it could break into a million pieces if he gripped it too tight.

Leo looks up at Don and Don keeps his eyes away from Leo's. Don checks his pulse and then says after releasing his breath

"Well it seems the poison has fully left your blood stream or else your pulse would be going a ten fold then what it's going right now. But there's still the side affects to worry about…" Donny trails off and looks to Leo's legs. Leo looks down too and panic swirls in those intense dark brown eyes. Don notices what's wrong and says quickly

"W-We're not sure of anything yet Leo! So don't worry, April and I are working as fast as we can, now all you need to do is work on resting and getting better alright?" Leo swallows and nods looking at Don like he's looks like a kid whose just been told if he don't get them A's on his next report card he's goanna have a boring as shell summer. He gets closer and whispers in a soft tone

"Does it hurt anywhere Leo? I need to know so don't try to be macho and say you don't feel a thing…" Don gives Leo a serious look and Leo looks down. He nods and points to his ribcage and the to his feet.

"Don… my left side hurts, and my legs… they feel like there asleep and I can't move them…" He finishes quietly and closes his eyes in defeat. Don slightly looks worried and nods. He turns to face the rest of us and says

"Well Raph? Casey told me and April that you had to tell us something about chips?" I blink and remember immediately.

"Oh yeah! Hey Don, ya remember 'bout that chip Mike ate not too long ago? The one you went bazaark about? Well do ya think its still in 'im?" Don's face turn into a astonished and amazed look as he runs past everyone.

"Raph you're a genius! I have to go a locate the chips we about and hopefully we'll find Mike!" April smiles and runs after him, and Casey pats my shoulder following. I smile warmly and then feel Leo's eyes on me. I turn to face them eyes, those eyes that I love so damn much.

"Good job Raph… at least I know now if something were to happen to me you could past the message on." I frown at him for thinking dark things. What does he mean '_if something were to happen to him'? _I linger near the door way and he says smiling still

"Raph, you don't need to baby sit me, go. I'll be fine." I snort and shake my head,

"Aint no damn way I'm going to leave ya here ALONE Leo. Sorry but yer stuck with me until we get this whole damn thing straightened out." Leo sighs and smiles with sad but appreciative eyes.

"Yo Raph… I'll watch Leo, you go on with Donny and Ape." I turn to see Casey standing in the hallway, leaning in it actually. His arms crossed and he has a small smirk. I look at Leo hesitantly, but he nods. Guess it's alright, I can trust Casey. I nod and walk by him and punch his arm and mumble thanks.

I walk out and slightly smile. _'Maybe things will get better. I mean Leos awake, he still has a chance to use his legs, we might have a lead to finding Mike, and we've taken the Shredder down before. What could be so hard this time 'bout him?' _when I reach the lab Don and April are at a desk so I walk over and look at what there doing. When Don see's me he turns fully

"Raph? What are you doing here, shouldn't you stay with Leo?" I keep a bland look and shrug. Don looks a little annoyed but before he can accuse me of leaving my brother defenseless I say

"Casey has that under control for me." Don raises a eye ridge and looks past me. I turn with 'im to see what the shell he's looking at. My eyes widen and I see Casey leaning against a wall eyes closed. He looks asleep.

"Casey what is Raph talking about?" Casey opens his eyes tiredly and smiles looking at us. He yawns and scratches his head saying still sleepy.

"Hey Raph, and what Don? I dunno what ya guys are talking 'bout…" Casey almost falls asleep until I run to him and grab him by his collar. I shake him and his eyes snap open as April and Don run to my side trying to pry my hands off him.

"What the **SHELL **do you mean Casey! YOU WENT IN THE ROOM AND SAID YOU'D LOOK AFT'A LEO! How long have you _**been **_in _**HERE**_?" I yell in his face, and he winces grabbing my hands not being able to get me off. He yells back slightly nervous and confused

"Since you told Don and Ape 'bout that chip thingy! I've been in here the whole time!" I drop 'im and freeze for a minute. I know that was Casey… I think. I run out and past everyone. Past all those god damn questions- past everyone who tries to keep me from Leo a second longer! I run into the room where I left my bro, with someone who could be working for one of our enemies, or even the Shredder (the worst we got) and Leo was half unconscious!

What kind of brother am I? … What kind of boyfriend am I? When I reach his room the door is wide open… and theres blood. Lots of it. I don't even stop I just run into it screaming

"Leo! Leo! **LEO!**" I lift the bed and push it so its upside down, I throw the lamp, I almost pull of the closet door off as I push it open throwing out everything. I mess up the once neat room, and keep screaming his name. I don't even hear Don or the others coming in. April tries to calm me down as Don tell Casey something, something I don't care about.

"Come on Raph, stay with me! We'll find Leo and Mike! Just come on calm down!" I thrash around hitting whatever I can. My fist connects with something. My vision starts getting hazy as the rage starts consuming me. I feel a needle go inside me and feel myself go numb. I start drifting off into a sad dream… I think of memorys and promises… I think about Leo… _Leo_….

_**To be continued **_


	6. Forgive Me, Leo

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo,**

**Master Splinter, Casey, or April.**

**Rating: Rated M! CHARACTER DEATH!**

**Pairing: LeoxRaph and DonxMike**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't** **read! In Raphs POV.**

When I woke up I was in my room... strapped down. 'Damn my head! What the shell is going...Oh no...' I growl "LEO!" I yell it to tha of my lungs, I need to find him! And Mike!

"DON LEMME OUTTA HERE!" I start arching my back as high as this God damn shell lets me! I hiss feeling my right fist stinging. Why is it stinging? It only stings like this if I'm in a fight and don't have my weapons- wait. I must've hit someone! Oh shell, that's why I'm strapped down! They gotta be kidding me! Me, Raphael Hamato, DANGEROUS?

...Alright, guess that is a stretch to say tha least. But still, I ain't gonna bite! I mean Don's a ninja too so I'll bet my shell on it if I hit him anywhere it was his shell, and Casey that big lug can take a punch! So I didn't really hurt 'em too bad! ...Right?

I close my eyes and try to remember what happened before I blacked out. Lets see...

I saw that I was two timed by some imposter, and that Leo was missing (that still stung) and when I saw that I went looking for him all in his room. I'm pretty sure I tore it up. Heh, then Don came in with Casey and- ... and April...

I look down at my fist and feel sweat dripping, it was bandaged but, did I actually hit not Casey, not Don, but... oh God.

"D-Donnie! C-C-Casey! You guys please! I d-d-didn't mean ta hit April!" I feel my eyes sting that I hit one of the few humans who actually befriended us, us teenage mutant ninja turtles!

I turn my head shivering with guilt, and feel a knot in my stomach. "H-Have I... am I really that dangerous? T-That I can't even control myself and hurt people who just- just wanna help us, help me? Fuck! I screwed up big time! Damn it April, I'm so sorry, please guys... I-I aint gonna hurt no one! Please! I wanna help ya find L-Leo and Mikey!"

I wait a few minutes and hear soft footsteps. Someone forces my head towards them and I wince. I look ta see Casey, and he looks mad. His eyes are puffy and he's grounding his teeth. Rage and hate fill them eyes, and I feel that my best bud aint gonna be my best bud if I don't say something quick.

"C-Casey! How's April, did I really hit her-! OW!" I spit blood after he punches the hell outta my face. I close my eyes and here 'im panting, probably 'cause he put all of his force into that one punch, or maybe only a quarter. Either way I feel fear striking in me.

"Casey please! I'm sorry man- its just Leo-" He punches me again and takes me by my head and spits

"LEO, LEO, LEO! THATS ALL YA EVA CARE 'BOUT RAPH, WHADDA 'BOUT MIKE, DON, OR APRIL! What about ME! Huh Raph? HUH? Or what about yer Master Splinter! Why is it ya only care about LEO? I used to think ya hated each other 'til you almost KILLED HIM! Remember you told me? Well what now? Your best friend! WHAT CHANGED?"

I stare at 'im and try to think of what he's saying, and well... guess he's right. Its true, Leos been the only one I think of when I think of someone I care about, and that's selfish. I stare at Casey and open my mouth but... close it.

He sneers and pushes my shoulders back making my head bang against the wall. "RAPH! What the hell! Aren't I yer best friend? Why'd that have to change just cause Leo and you made up? Tell me why everything's changed! Raph I-I miss the guy who was my best friend, who was my ONLY friend!"

I look at him and can't believe my ears (even though I dont have any) and say in a meek tone that really don't sound like me at all.

"What...? Casey, did you just say..." He nods shaking still gripping my shoulders. He tenses and looks at me with eyes that are watering, I feel like kicking myself, and he kinda reminds me of Mike right now with them big blue eyes...

"Raph, buddy... please tell me what's going on with you an Leo..." I sigh mentally but nod. Case does deserve ta know, Leo, please forgive me.

"Case... me an' Leo, were kinda... going out..." I wanna close my eyes but my pride doesn't let me. So I look up and see him staring at the wall. I don't know why but I feel nervous, maybe 'cause Casey would hate me cause I'm dating my brother. Or something like that. I wait and after a few minutes I think about asking him something, but he clears his throat,

"Oh... well yous guys are... going out..." It wasn't really a question I think, but I answer it anyway.

"Yeah... been going out since we saved Leo.. look its a LONG story Casey, and I'm pretty sure ya still hate my guts if not more but I still wanna ask ya to.. to stay my bud, my friend... 'C-Cause ya know my life would be boring with out ya a-around Case, your my best friend too!"

I stare at the ceiling feeling so damn lame, but he laughs and pats my shoulder. I feel the pressure ease off and release the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I tilt my head to look at 'im and say quietly

"So... ya forgive me?" Casey stops laughing and looks at me seriously, and for a minute my stomach drops. He smiles slightly but it looks kinda sad and he nods.

"Yeah, guess I have ta... but it aint ME yous got's to worry 'bout, its Ape... she's really upset but she don't hate you. That much I know, and she might understand if you tell her 'bout you an' Leo... Same with Don." I gulp and nod slowly, 'cause I didn't think I'd have to tell Donny and April about me an' Leo without Leo!

But its the only way to get Apes forgiveness and for Don to trust me a bit more now... Casey undoes the straps and I sit up, rubbing the marks they made on my wrists and ankles. I dangle my feet off my hammock and push my self up. I feel a little dizzy but Case supports me.

"Wow there big guy, watch it, you've been strapped to that hammock for 2 days! Ya need to take it slow." It takes a minute until I realize he said 32 hours. I say in a 'you-gotta-be-kidding-me' voice

"2 days? What the hell?" Casey puts his hands up and smiles nervously

"Hey man, you went psycho rememba? So Don used a needle to inject some shit into ya, and that knocked you out for a 32 hours!" I blink and stare at 'im.

"... Casey." I say closing my eyes and rubbing my temples while turning into another direction trying not to lose my cool.

"Yeah?" My very, very, very, special friend says.

"32 hours is not TWO DAYS, that's 48 hours! 32 is a day and 8 hours!" I snap at the end.

I sigh and walk out still kinda tripping. I storm towards the lab and Casey strides along side me,

"Hey you know I 'aint good at no math!" I roll my eyes and ignore him, big goof. 'Alright, so I gotta tell Ape and Don 'bout me an Leo! That 'aint going to be so hard, right?... Right?... RIGHT?' I slap my forehead.

Damn, I think I'm going crazy. Any way when I get to Dons lab I hear a crash.

"DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING!" I peek in and Casey is right behind me. "What?" Case whispers and I shush him.

"Mike... Leo... no... no... NO!" Another crash. I wince and I feel Casey wincing. "I can't quit! Mike, please... please don't die on me! I'll keep working- I WILL save you AND Leo!" I knock on the door and walk in quietly.

"Donnie...?" I say and his shell is to me. He tenses immediately and he glances at me. His eyes are wild, and tired. He probably hasn't slept since this whole thing started. I must've looked like that, but at least I got some sleep.

And boy if that isn't what Donnie needs then I don't know what. I approach him cautiously and he turns to face me while stepping back like I'm a predator looking for his prey.

"W-What the hell are you doing here Raph? I strapped you to the bed for your own good! Y-Your not in your right mind your-!" I cut him off by putting one hand up.

"First of all, yer right, or you where brainaic. Now its your turn, look at your self Don. Your a mess! Ya need to shut that big brain of yers off and rest. Alright?"

He scoffs and starts looking a bit like a smug psycho... probably like me at times.

"Rest? Why the shell would I rest when Mikes out there- while LEOS out there! Our big brother and our little brother! Why in Gods name would I rest?" I take his wrists and get in his face saying

"'Cause yer going coo koo! Don, listen to me, ya need ta rest! Come on, yer smart enough to know that much right?" He growls and I can tell those were the wrong choice of words.

"Oh, YOUR telling ME that I'm the one who's going CRAZY? Pffft! Hahahahaha! NICE TRY DUMBASS! I don't' need any REST, I NEED Mike!" I shake him and say with a raised (yelling) tone

"YO! Donatello! You there? Come on, its me, RAPH! Ya need rest, and yer getting it one way or the other!" Don squirms but smirks after going limp.

"Raphael... I will hurt you if you don't... let. me. GO!" He grips his BO and swings, but I jump back right before it smacks a PC thing into the wall.

'Oh shell! If that'd hitten me... I'd be just like that computer thing!'

"CASEY! Get 'im!" I turn and see Casey gone. I turn again and Dons running towards me with a evil grin and wielding his bo tightly.

"Don't lose focus Raph!" He takes a swing and hits my side causing me ta hit the big metal table with a grunt. I hiss and look back up grabbing his bo as it swings down near my face.

"Don! Where the shell is Casey?" He grins wider and tilts his head "He was never here Raph, that must've been a dream, you hit HIM remember? You KILLED him! YOU hit his head with YOUR sai!" I go wide eyed.

'I-I killed CASEY! B-But I thought... wait...'

"I..." My hands slip and he stabs me in my gut with his bo making me gag. "Gaaaah! D-Don! Stop! WHATS GOING ON!"

I fall to my knees and spit out any trace of blood in my mouth. Was that Casey another imposter? Is my best bud REALLY dead? Did I kill him? AM I GOING CRAZY? Where the shell are ya Leo, I NEED you!

"Leo help!" I close my eyes and wait for the blow and it comes hard on my head and SNAP.

I lie down on my stomach and feel my head sting and feel the shards of wood fall to the floor and feel the warm liquid flow down my head and onto the floor. My body starts going numb...

"Poor, poor, deluded Raphael, I injected you with a seditative that has delusional side effects... hehehehe now, now though I think we should silence you ONCE and for ALL! No one wants you here, you almost killed Leo, you let my Mikey get kid napped, you're probably behind our Sensei leaving, and YOU killed Casey and caused April to go into depression and try to kill herself! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT! NOW THE BURDEN OF OUR FAMILY SHALL BE NO MORE!" He finishes it laughing but I can feel drips of water onto my head. He's cry'n cause of me.

I can hear the wind rushing past his bo staff, I can feel its menacing glare, and know what's coming next. I'm sorry I failed ya Leo, I'm sorry...

_**TO BE CONTINUED!**_


	7. The Truth!

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, Michelangelo,**

**Master Splinter, Casey, or April.**

**Rating: Rated… R? Idk you tell me but enjoy! Some good stuff for you faithful reviewers! ;)**

**Pairing: LeoxRaph and DonxMike**

**A/C: Sorry for taking soooo long! Here it is guys! And sorry for it to be so short~! Oh and thanks my great reviewers! JUANIS, ****DragonMasterOf10****, and ****Poisoned Dark Angel****!**

**Warning!: If you don't like or know what Yaoi is, then don't** **read! In Raphs POV.**

…_.. Eh my head is killing me! …. Wait, where the shell am I?_ I try to move around but my body obviously doesn't me to. And its dark, reeeaaaally dark. _Huh guess I'm in hell? Thought I'd see some red guy with horns yelling 'Welcome To Hell!' … huh kinda sound like Mike right now, must be in hell._ I do my best and feel a wall and sit up barely pulling my legs to my chest. I groan and then everything that happened flashed into my head!- Again… damn what is it with me and blacking out? Anyway I sigh at the fact that Don tried to kill me… We still had no idea were Mike was, I killed Case… and Leo could be dea- No. No. No. No. No. _NO._ Bad thoughts are not wanted here, gotta think, use the senses Sensei drilled into our heads.

Alright I do smell something like rust? Oh yeah and blood, plus something that smells like… coffe? Huh didn't know that the Devil drunk Joe… and wait that smell… naw, can't be… can it? I take a deep breath and inhale everything but choke and start going into a coughing fit. Each cough burns the hell outta my throat and I feel my eyes sting. I try to open my eyes and barely manage as I see a dark room, crappy but dark. Theres a oil spot, a few tires, a few bumpers, a drill, a tool box, and a spider in a corner- SPIDER… hehe nooo it's a dust bunny, heh almost lost it. Wait whats that…

In the corner I see a figure sitting in a really lumpy position. I squint and see that its sleeping, so I do my best to stand but my head hurts like hell and so does my chest. Every breath gets harder as I struggle to stand. I finally manage and shuffle towards it. I feel for something on the ground and pick up a crow bar… at least I think it is. Or something like a metal stick. I walk as quietly and hush my breathing and when I finally reach it that familiar smell gets stronger and I hesitate but the figure grabs my hand.

I hiss at the firm grip and immediately it loosens. Before I get another chance to take a swing at him he takes the crow bar and I can see him standing straight… and hes my height. I look and see that its my bro, Mike. I feel myself fall to my knees and smile so wide and he smiles too. He hugs me and pats my shell saying calmly

"Hey bro, trying to kill me after I saved you?" I laugh and wipe my eyes making sure my lil bro don't see me break'n down. He helps me sit on a few cargo boxes and tells me what happened. Apparently I had… killed Case, 'cause my Sais were out and I was in a fit of rage. I couldn't see and Case he, he tried to calm me down but I hit him and… and Don couldn't do nothing. Ape took it so bad she tried to kill herself not want'n to be without 'im….. and that just broke Don. He had a thing for April before and still cared for her even if he was in love with Mikey. And then Mike told him about how and where the Shredder took him.

"Well… when I went to go get stuff for you after Leo flipped, I turned to Dons lab but I felt something wasn't right ya know? And… well they used a clothe thingy that had some drug or something in it and I passed out. When I woke up I was in the Shred-Heads main office. Duuuude, Shredder's not back! And it isn't Karai- you'll never believe it and you sure as hell wont like it." Mike hesitated but I nudged him

"Go on bro, this God Damn suspense is killing me!" He nodded and played with one of his bandana's while saying quietly

"Dude, its Splinter. He looked all creepy and he said he… wanted to do stuff to me, ya know? He said he wanted one of us and that the foot got the wrong one…" I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I mean I knew Splinta was a fucking pedo but REALLY? How the hell did he even become head Foot?

"And ya know what? He defeated Hun and so the Foot just started obeying him! I've been getting all this from Karai, shes been keeping tabs on you guys and helped me escape… and dude, I know what happened to Leo-!" I grabbed him by his shoulders tightly and barked

"_**WHERE?**_" He put his hands up and said in a shaky voice

"Whoa dude, down! Leo was taken by Baxter! He got a new thingy to make him look like anyone so you gotta calm down!" I dropped him and clenched my fist. Oh _hell no!_ That fucking prick is soooooooo dead!

"Where." Mike sighed

"Dunno, still working on that…" I growled and punched the closest wall as hard as I could but felt the back of my head sting and the throbbing of my knuckle. Mike had me sit down and again and said in a commanding tone kinda like Leo's discipline tone,

"Now look Raph. You NEED to control your anger! That isn't helping! I had to help you with Don remember? Do you KNOW how hard it was? Karai said I shouldn't go to him like that 'cause he'd think I was a illusion and… and she was _right! _Dude she was _right" _I nodded slightly and sighed.

"Yeah… I'm sorry bro, its just this is all so damn hard, I mean I really love Leo-"

"How do you know that?" I stare at him and squint. I say in a rough tone

"What? Of course I do-" He cut me off again and said in a convincing tone

"Raph, are you sure you just don't love Leo's _looks?_" I glare slightly at my nun chunk wielding bro.

"I would love Leo even if he looked like a mutated Cat! I don't love him 'cause he's just hot! I love 'im cause he's got soul! I-I mean, he's got enough heart into what he does, enough soul for his family, he's just so damn devoted, and has the cutest quirks, and- and…" I keep rambling but look up to see him smiling. I stop rambling and furrow my brows.

"What's so funny?" He shrugs and smiles wider looking up.

"Ooo nothing, just I had a feeling you felt the real thing, cause… that's how I feel with Donnie. I feel so- so happy with him…" He starts staring into space and I clear my throat.

"Oh, ya, well come on Raphie we gotta meet up with well Karai. Ok?" I stood but blinked.

"Wait, Karai sent me Don, and Leo a not that said the Shredder WAS back! Why would Splinta do that?" Mikey turned and sighed.

"Because he wanted you guys off guard. Splinter does still think Karai works for him, but she really is on her side, unlike Splinter Karai gave us her word, her honor." I nodded. Her an Leo were like that. They never lied when it came to honor.

I stood and we both started walking out, he wanted to help but I aint that bad of shape, even if Don tried to kill me. Who hasn't? Don't worry Leo, me an Mike will save ya!

_**TO BE CONTINUED!**_


	8. I'm Sorry!

Hey! I'm taking a break cuz I have MAJOR writers block for TMNT, I wont stop writing but I wont stop here! I will NOT give up on this or my other TMNT stories!~ This I SWEAR!


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